Conflict in marriage is common, but sometimes, the determining factor for the survival of the union is the ability to communicate effectively. Experienced couples are usually better at this compared to newbies. This could be why 41% of first-time marriages end in divorce. Now, several couples are seeking marriage counseling in an attempt to save their partnership. But how can you tell if your marriage needs this? Below are some valid reasons.
- Difficulty in balancing parental roles in marriage
When kids come into the picture, the marriage dynamics take a different turn. A lot more focus is redirected to the young ones as the couple maneuver parenthood for the first time. Statistics indicate that women often redirect most of their attention to their children, and it becomes an unconscious habit. Additionally, the other spouse may be saddled by the pressures of this complex marriage layer. This could hurt the marriage.
A 2019 research on marriage and kids stated that 75% of couples immediately notice a slowdown in their relationship upon the first child’s arrival. If there are more babies, the stress compounds further. In such cases, marriage counseling may be recommended to help both parties reconnect. If that doesn’t work out, the marriage breaks down, and the spouses may have to seek divorce lawyers.
Financial issues in marriage are real and common. Disagreements on money and its management can eat away at the marital foundation. It usually starts gradually until things blow out of proportion. Experienced marriage counselors say many couples fail to openly discuss their financial struggles. And when only one person is gainfully employed, they automatically become the breadwinner and are made responsible for everything money-related.
Without an open discussion on this topical issue, many couples will likely deal with constant conflict. Sometimes, the slightest disagreement blows out of proportion because the underlying issue (money struggles) is yet to be tackled. When you see this happening in your relationship, the marriage counselor can help the parties open up. An experienced counselor creates a confidential environment to discuss such sensitive issues.
- Difficulty in letting go of the past
Many marriages that have endured traumatic events usually experience this. Unforgiveness and failing to let go of past emotionally-trying events can destroy marriages. Infidelity remains at the top of the list. And feelings of betrayal, depression, and rejection often linger, causing one party to struggle with letting go. While one party may have been at fault, the consequences affect both spouses. Usually, a marriage counselor would tackle scenarios like this from a cause-and-effect perspective.
Unfortunately, only 25% of marriages that experience infidelity survive. This is because of the long-lasting effects of infidelity and its associated loss of trust. Reports also indicate that marriage counseling in such circumstances can only do little to salvage the situation. However, it is not completely unhelpful. It can help each spouse come to terms with what has happened and come to an agreement on the way forward. Hopefully, a timely intervention with a marriage counselor can save your relationship.